One thing I’ve been learning recently is how to prioritize.
As someone with perfectionistic tendencies, I often feel the urge to fix everything, optimize everything, and blame myself whenever things don’t go exactly right. But life simply doesn’t work that way — reality is messy, and trying to control every detail only drains me.
Catch and Release
Taylor Swift captured this beautifully in her NYU graduation speech:
“Life can be heavy, especially if you try to carry it all at once. Part of growing up is about catch and release — knowing what things to keep, and what things to let go. You can’t carry everything. Decide what is yours to hold. Let the rest go.”
This idea has been surprisingly grounding for me. I can’t fight every battle or chase every minor loss. I used to believe I should — that not doing so meant I was careless or incapable. But now I understand the idea of catch and release:
Catch what truly matters; Release what is not worth the time, energy, or emotional cost.
Example 1: The Wrong Payment
Yesterday I noticed a wrong transaction for a mobile plan ($14). I contacted the service provider and the bank. After half an hour of back-and-forth, the answer was still uncertain — it might take up to 90 days, with no guarantee.
In the past, I would have obsessed over this. Losing money felt like losing a part of myself. I would fight it no matter what, even if it wasted hours and ruined my mood.
But this time, I paused. It was just $14. But the opportunity cost — my interview prep, meaningful work, or even just resting — was far higher than the amount itself. So I decided to let it go, accept the mistake, and move on.
Example 2: The Shared Bike Penalty
A few weeks ago, I forgot to lock a shared bike properly and got a $5 penalty. I felt devastated and spent half an hour writing long messages trying to dispute it. The entire time, I felt terrible.
In the end, nothing was refunded.
Looking back, it wasn’t worth the emotional turmoil. It was simply a small reminder to be more mindful next time.
Buying Lessons
I’m starting to see these incidents as small “tuition fees.”
Life teaches you lesson in various ways. Moreover, if you don’t learn it this time, life will teach it again.
For someone like me, who learns best through real experiences, these moments are actually quite valuable. The key is whether I grow from them.
Also from TS
“In your life you will inevitably misspeak, trust the wrong person, under-react, over-react … create a reality where only your experience exists … hit rock bottom … and try to do better next time. Rinse, repeat.”
The Bigger Picture: Prioritization
All of this comes back to prioritization.
My time, attention, and emotional bandwidth are limited.
Not every mistake deserves a full investigation.
Not every loss deserves a fight.
Not every inconvenience deserves my emotional energy.
Learning to prioritize means choosing what to hold — and consciously releasing what isn’t worth holding. It means making peace with imperfection, accepting small losses, and focusing my energy on what truly matters.
Oftentimes the good things in your life are lighter anyway, so there’s more room for them.”